While I am still not 100% I want to share the steps that I am taking in order to get control again. Please keep in mind that these are not necessarily in the order of importance.
I found a clinic that only accepts donations and have been able to get back on my medications. That was the first and most important step. My thyroid and hormones levels were so out of whack and now we have managed to get them under control again. Back in the late 90's I had a radical hysterectomy due to late stage 1 - early stage 2 cancer and afterwards found out I was allergic to Hormone Replacement Therapy so they put my on Prozac. Believe it or not with my backwards system - it does control the mood swings and most importantly the hot flashes or power surges and mini tropical vacations as I like to call them. Living in Florida with the heat and humidity - sometimes I wish it was a long arctic vacation!
1) I have studied to be a professional organizer and seeing my life in shambles was not acceptable. I had frazzled energy as the medications starting working (Small doses until we could get back to the level I was on without throwing me in an different tizzy.) I started working first on small projects - under the bathroom sinks, on one to the closets in the master area - it is where I keep my slacks and some extra supplies, towels and sheets for my area, etc. By working on smaller projects I was able to refocus my thoughts and energy while decluttering and organizing my house. Until I could get myself sorted out and my home - I didn't feel like I could offer help to anyone else.
2) It is important to have a role model. My Mom has always been mine - when things went awry as they do - I could always depend on Mom for assistance, guidance and a back up plan. Now with her being put in a home for ALZ - that was not the case. So I had to take a step back - hitch up the britches again and ask "If Mom was here - what would she do?" The first thing I realized that I have to focus on something besides my negative pity pot attitude but more importantly I remember her always asking "Have you given this to God to handle?" That should always be our first choice
3) Sleep - although this was something I didn't think I was having a problem with because I was sleeping a lot just not relaxed and restful. Setting a bedtime and sticking to it has helped. I normally go to bed at 9PM and then I either read or watch a movie (remember due to financial obligations - I shut off my cable). I normally fall asleep or get drowsy and turn off the TV and then the movie continues until it rewinds and then shuts off. I also have a wake up time between 6-7AM depending on the dogs and granddaughters (I keep the 2 youngest of a morning before school).
4) Daily and Nightly Routines - this is important! By going back to my daily morning and evening routines I managed to get a sense of normality back in my life. Yes I may have been working through them without putting thought or my heart into it in the beginning, but as I got back to my normal habits - soing my routines and doing what I always go - kept things in perspective and help me get my home and life back on the organized track that it was both in my thinking, actions and planning. There were days in the beginning (and even now) that I felt like a robot and worked through the chore but it gave me time to re-group and get into another project.
Having lists and routines allows for adjustments if I am having a bad day or an emergency comes up. It give me a plan of how to deal with things and makes me feel more peaceful and more in control versus frazzled and chaotic. Being able to chose what I can eliminate off my routine to handle the current situation and knowing that it will get moved to the next day makes it less stressful. That is one reason I stick to 3 MIT's (Most important tasks) for my daily planning. Some days just don't go the way we plan!! God has shown me that many times over the last 18 months and continues to do so daily.
5) I make time for myself, my bible/prrayer time and my crafting. These are my relaxors or as I call them my escape from reality. I have a chair in my living room (currently occupied by my fur babies) that has a basket with my various books I read - Guidepost, Praying through the Lord's Prayer, etc. I can choose to read just my bible and the daily lesson from Our Daily Bread or I can do some crafting or all of the above. That is what is good about "ME" time - I do what I want.
I am in no way over the depression totally but this has given me a better handle on getting my life back. Please feel free to comment - I would love to hear how you are working your way out of depression and sorrow.
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